Monday, June 12, 2006

Oh the pain

For some unknown reason I have decided to join a gym. It is rather new and shiny and impressive with a lovely pool, steam room and hot and cold running muscular young men. Unfortunately they couldn't fit me in for a gym induction straight away, so I decided to have a bash by myself. Hell, I used to go to the gym; how hard could it be? Very bloody hard. Sore too.

After puffing away on an exercise bike for a while, sweating like a bishop in a scout camp, I tried out the thigh adductor/abductor. Bad move. I had gone to the gym with a friend of mine who has been working out there for several months. What on earth posessed me to think that I, who hasn't taken regular exercise or done anything more strenuous than smiling in nearly two and a half years, could do as many repetitions at the same weights as her? Silly me. I got off the instrument of torture feeling like I had been vigorously rogered by an entire rugby team; I tried stretching, and went on a bizarre machine that vibrated so hard my glasses flew off and I thought I was going to be sick (it's supposed to relax your muscles; presumably by killing you) but to no avail. Is it possible to die from a groin strain? My fit, gym-going friend thinks this is hilarious. Particularly when I try to cross my legs, fail, and start crying.

Friday, June 09, 2006


There is a certain woman at work, perfectly nice and all, who peridically comes into my office to look for files, and then exits leaving the bloody door wide open. I keep closing it, but does she get the hint? Noooo. If she does it again I'm going to throw a stapler at her.

That is all.

Monday, May 22, 2006


I knew it...

You Are 82% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.

The devil is even a little scared of you!

Question is, why am I so proud of this?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


I decided to take a walk around Lough Gur instead of the 'purgatorial' climb up Brandon Mountain; my friend and I tootled along merrily to the lake on Sunday only to find that the actual walk was extremely short, most of the land around it being privately owned. Sooo, we climbed over a few fences and had a bit of a trespass. In all fairness, we didn't realise until afterwards when we spoke to the nice lady in the visitor's centre that we had been on private land, as we had somewhat gullibly listened to a rather dodgy friend who assured us there was a nice six mile walk around the lough. It was rather beautiful, and by heading off the beaten track we saw some amazing ruins (I think it must have been an old church by the shape of the doorway) almost taken back by the landscape. We also ended up plastered to the arse in mud, but it was worth it. Lough Gur is worth a look if you should happen to find yourself in the area, it's a beautiful neolithic sites and has the largest stone circle in Ireland.

Drinks on Friday went well, and for once I was the most sober person present. I had the smug satisfaction of being the only one of us without a bad head on Saturday morning. For some unknown reason we managed to end up in what I can only describe as an old man's pub; talent (and teeth, and hair) was non-existant, but I was called a 'good girl' by an old chap with a hearing aid. Then it was off to a dark, dank nightclub filled with students. That was fun. I think they were playing the same music that they used to play in the local clubs when I was a student.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Socialising and Death by Exposure

Tonight I will be mostly getting dragged out for the purposes of socialising. I wish to point out that I don't feel like socialising right now as I am poorly and should be at home, in bed. I am also being threatened with being set up with various men ranging from all of the single men at work, random farmers, to an entire football team. Help meeee... I rather doubt I'll meet anyone nice but fear that my friends may sell me to white slavers for my bodyweight in vodka plus the added bonus of being free of my moaning. Although if that's what they were planning they would have been better off to sell me before my rapid and totally undeserved loss of over a stone in weight. My "nice arse" jeans as were, have now decided they are going to slide down my arse in the same way that my work trousers do. My arse appears to be vanishing, but unfortunately it isn't taking my stomach with it.

Should I survive tonight's drunken debauch, I shall almost certainly not survive the planned 6 hour hike up Brandon Mountain on Sunday. The most exercise I have had of late was thinking about taking up aikido. I'll make sure I have the number for Kerry Mountain Rescue programmed into my mobile before I leave; some of them are quite cute.

I may be some time.

Saturday, May 06, 2006


Rolling Rocky didn't win his race; but his legs didn't fall off and he did manage to come second, so I got back my wager and won all of seven euro. Not great, but better than losing my stake.

It's been a rather quiet week, other than a little argy bargy with one of the other offices who are claiming that the couriered some rather important documents to us. This will be culminating in a meeting on Monday morning where I have to very patiently explain to them that no, we don't have them and no, they really weren't in with the other stuff you sent. This will most likely continue until some bright spark finds them on their desk and they have a good laugh about it. They are allowed to do that sort of thing as they are head office, and we work out of a shed somewhere in Ireland. I love that, if they make an error it's oversight; if we make one it's the end of the world.

All plans for the weekend had to be cancelled when a house guest turned up unexpectedly for the weekend. Never mind, I haven't seen him in ages and hopefully the weather will pick up so I can take him out and about. He also brought a stack of CDs for me, which was nice. I've been checking out the 2 CDs for £9.99 on and having a bit of a chuckle to myself; they're appalling. Things like Black Lace's greatest hits! I thought they only had one hit, the execrable Agadoo, about ten million years ago. Does anybody buy this crap?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I miss the internet

My internet connectivity has been down for almost 2 weeks now and am blogging from a friend's PC; it's surprising how dependant I've become on it. I feel cut off from civilisation.

Things have been pretty quiet, went out last weekend with some people from work. We saw the most bizarre show, not really my cup of tea but a friend was appearing in it, and went for drinks afterwards. I managed to get pissed on two pints of cider, I must be out of practice.

I've got a bet on Rolling Rocky in the 6.25 at Tipperary tonight, fingers crossed that its legs don't fall off.